oooh lala! SUNKISSED*

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

My family suCks.

Why cant some pple just have the brains to think for others? do they always think that money will drop from the sky and feed their mouths? wats the use of praying to so many different gods when u dont go n work? i have enough of these nonsense.

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Thursday, November 25, 2004

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stoppedinfront of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out ofthecar in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump andshy.I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid;Iwent into business and tried to make more money. When the assets weresteadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was acivil servant.

Every morning we left home together and got home almostatthe same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, Menlike you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking ofthis, I became somewhat hesitant.

I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.I moved Dew's hands aside and said," You go to select some furniture,O.K.?I've got something to do in the company." Obviously she was unhappy,becauseI had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, shewas agood wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting infront of the TV. The dinner was ready soon.

Then we watched TV together.Or,I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.

Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn'timagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smile dat my subordinates.

But I read some hurt in her eyes.Once again, Dew said to me," He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you," I said.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly.She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked mesoftly,why? I'm serious. I avoided her question.

This so-called answer turnedherangry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me," You are not a man!"At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw herwriting something at the table. I fell asleep fast.

When I woke up, Ifoundshe was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me,butI was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the months time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me," He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said," I remember." "You carried me in your arms," she continued,"So, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning."

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly andthought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention asexplicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy.

Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly,"Let us start from today, don't tell our son."

I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time.

I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face. On the third day, she whispered to me," The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there."On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms.

Thevisualization of Dew became vaguer.On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded.The sense of intimacy was even stronger.

I didn't tell Dew about this.I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her," It seems not difficult to carry you now."She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one.

Then she sighed," All my dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it s time to carry mum out," he said.To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential partof his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.

I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her muchlighter weight made me sad.On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said," Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old."I held her tightly and said," Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door.

I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her," Sorry, Dew, I won t divorce. I'm serious."She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. "You got no fever," she said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said," I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more.

Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for mywifewhich was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote --

I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.

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Tuesday, November 23, 2004

yeah! ended class le.But *SObS* cuz i gta rush home to do the camp stuff.Gta call up everyone and also to come up with all the worship songs this friday. Stressful man. hmm...just now fiona tok to me..hais...cant believe she just confide in me just like that.lolS. anyways..heard from her that she gave amla to watch "the passion of Christ" and amla actually cried in class. PrAise God.No wonder she cried in class that day.She prayed in class too!!!! i was super excited upon hearing it and i was almost on the verge of leaping up n shouting in class.heee. cant believe that of all people it would be her.lolS.

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yooHoo..
BEing long since i last uPdated. i saw Uki!! jOsie's Doggy and she's sUper Cutie!!! hahas.went to josiah's hse with joey n meiling after shOpping at causeway point with yinghui to help her find her prom dress..ahhas.She chose a red one..pretty ger.lolS. mi n butt went bonkers over trying diff gowns too..ahhas. ^_^
We went n played with uki and she's super adorable. just feel like cuddling her the moment i saw her..hee. We were invited by a "aroMa" the moment we stepped into his house..hahas. we were practically holding our breath in the house.Thankl God we didnt die.hahas.We took lots of pics with uki..she's so innocent looking..But when she sees her fav food in the fridge ar....she'll go bonkers man.LOls.
She's so pampered ...lucky little Cutie. then played Guitar with the buttS till elevel plus in the night..JOsiah is such a great HOst! thanKs JOSie!

went to see off sooBin at the airport. SHe's going to Somewhere in changmai i think..she going for mission trip..Hope that God bless n protect her greatly. ^_^ Woke up at 5.30am but in the end i was still late..hee..met simon,joey,meiling,chris,eunice,lala,alvin then went off to the airpoRt! met Kun Fu's mum! so cute! hhaas...look like him lehs.hahas. i almost said ' may God bless ya" in chinese to them. Phew~~ then went to makan at raffles with peeps then took a lot of piCs.Oh ya..mi n eunice and the other peepS ran into fullerton hotel~ to use the toilet..ahhas.we acted like Sua Kus.hahas. i feel like staying in the toilet forever man.ahhas. i dun mine being the cleaner there. ^_^

Hope that the old auntie will leave soon...cuz i wanna go swiMMin!!!!! SWimmingi with eling man..LOls.Hope that day will arrive Asap man. ^_^

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THE SUGAR!!!

Who exactly ARE you? (AnImE PiCs)
brought to you by

LOls.her ears are huGe! just like me! hahahas

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Thursday, November 18, 2004

had great service yesterdae at the chalet...lolS.Cuz me and ting was just too lazy to move our butts and help and so ended up having colin,baowei and eric to serve us..hahas. Got to know another ee ling yesterdae.. ^_^ well..we practically went there, sit , talk, and eat , watch television....hahas.it went just as we had planned yeah ting???hahas. but i got a tummy ache after eating all the food!!! hmm hmm...poor me.. i spent like 2 hrs on travelling all the way back to wdls..*wat the ..** SigHs. reach home realli dead beat man. 0_0 anyways,..had a great time makaning and talking.lolS.

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Wednesday, November 17, 2004

YEah!
Todae actually wanna bon sch de..but last minute changed cuz onli meeting ting2 after her cell which is like 5 pluS..then bo bian come sch and waste time lohS...had C&C todae..lolS.was rather slack i think. ^_^ Laster after Class then meeting tingting then meet eric and bao wei then go to chalet!! hahas.Its costa sands and hope that its Great! hahs..too bad cannot stay cuz tml gt classs...Boo. going swimming with classmates again on monday....yeappie..great Day! ^_^

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Tuesday, November 16, 2004

A very beautiFul story..REad it~!

Marge went to her mail box and there was onlyone letter. She picked it up and looked at itbeforeopening, but then she looked at the envelopeagain.
There was no stamp, no postmark, only her name and address.

She read the letter:

Dear Marge:I'm going to be in your neighborhood Saturdayafternoon and I'd like to stop by for a visit.

Love Always,Jesus

Her hands were shaking as she placed theletteron the table. "Why would the Lord want to visitme? I'm nobody special. I don't have anythingtooffer."

With that thought, Marge remembered heremptykitchen cabinets.

"Oh my goodness, I reallydon'thave anything to offer. I'll have to run down tothestore and buy something for dinner."

Shereached for her purse and counted out its contents.

Five dollars and forty cents.

"Well, I can get some bread and cold cuts, at least."

She threw on her coat and hurried out the door.A loaf of French bread, a half-pound of slicedturkey, and a carton of milk... leaving Marge withgrand total twelve cents to last her until Monday.

Nonetheless, she felt good as she headedhome,her meager offerings tucked under her arm.

"Hey lady, can you help us, lady?"

Marge had been so absorbed in her dinnerplans,she hadn't even noticed two figures huddled inthe alleyway.

A man and a woman, both of themdressed in little more than rags.

"Look lady, I ain't got a job, ya know, and mywifeand I have been living out here on the street,and,well, now it's getting cold and we're gettingkindahungry and, well, if you could help us. Lady,we'd really appreciate it."

Marge looked at them both.

They were dirty,theysmelled bad and frankly, she was certain thatthey could get some kind of work if they reallywanted to

."Sir, I'd like to help you, but I'm a poor woman myself. All I have is a few cold cuts and somebread, and I'm having an important guest fordinner tonight and I was planning on servingthatto Him."

"Yeah, well, okay lady, I understand. Thanksanyway.

"The man put his arm around the woman'sshoulders, turned and headed back into thealley.As she watched them leave, Marge felt a familiar twinge in her heart.

"Sir, wait!" The couple stopped and turned asshe ran down the alley after them.

"Look, whydon't you take this food. I'll figure outsomethingelse to serve my guest."

She handed the man her grocery bag.

"Thank you lady. Thank very much!""Yes, thank you!"

It was the man's wife, andMarge could see now that she was shivering.

"You know, I've got another coat at home. Here, why don't you take this one."Marge unbuttoned her jacket and slipped it over the woman's shoulders.

Then smiling, she turned and walked back to the street... without her coat and with nothing to serve her guest.

"Thank you lady! Thank you very much!"

Marge was chilled by the time she reached her front door, and worried too.

The Lord was coming to visit and she didn't have anything to offerHim.She fumbled through her purse for the doorkey.

But as she did, she noticed another envelope inher mailbox."That's odd. The mailman doesn't usually cometwice in one day."

She took the envelope out ofthe box and opened it.

Dear Marge:It was so good to see you again. Thank you for the lovely meal. And thank you, too, for the beautiful coat.

Love Always Jesus

The air was still cold,but even without her coat,Marge no longer noticed.

If you love Jesus, post this. Do not ignore thismessage. The mantra must leave your handswithin 96 hours. You will get a very pleasantsurprise.This is true, even if you are not superstitious.

Very good things will happen to everyone touches this story.

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welcome to my life~

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud T
hat no one hears you screamingNo you don't know what it's likeWhen nothing feels all rightYou don't know what it's likeTo be like meTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kicked when you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downWhen no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my lifeDo you wanna be somebody else? yesAre you sick of feeling so left out? yesAre you desparate to find something more? yesBefore your life is overAre you stuck inside a world you hate? yesAre you sick of everyone around? yesWith their big fake smiles and stupid liesWhile deep inside you're bleedingNo you don't know what it's likeWhen nothing feels all rightYou don't know what it's likeTo be like meTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kicked when you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downAnd no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my lifeNo one ever lied straight to your faceNo one ever stabbed you in the backYou might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okayEverybody always gave you what you wantedNever had to work it was always thereYou don't know what it's like what it's likeTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kicked when you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downAnd no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like, what it's like [x2]Welcome to my life [x3

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im backIe~!
had family day on sundae...totally Cool ..^_^ went to church in the morning and thankS to josie little boy~! he managed to help mi get my coco ballS~! lolS.**HuggS** then after a wonderful worship we started off to Sembawang park! lolS. its full of mosquitoes man..**groanS** but had a great time decorating with peepS. Thanks to little ivan and joey we went around cutting bird nest ferns..practically destroying nature. Boo.Luckily the cleaner auntie didnt catch us.lolS.
had nice food but the weather was bad..rained hafway and meiling and joey practically went nuts cuz they went jogging in the rain..lolS.^_^" we had fun thou..lolS. :)

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Friday, November 12, 2004

My Butt HurtS! (_/_) (_\_)
after going to cycle for the whole day at ecp with classmates my arse have being hurting non stop!!! my gosh..cycled for 2 hrs onli then i cannot walk properly after le...**cries**Then i was rather accident prone yest too..lolS.kept on banging into pple..hahas.goes to show that i cannot be a driver in the future,,lolS. yest was deepavali mahs..then got lotsa pple at the beach..i think i walk faster than those who cycled..lolS. then had fun and the food there was great! YUmmie~~even though we waited a long time for the seats but it was all worthwhile..YummiE! ate stingray,chickie wings and wanton mee,....the wanton mee roCks! Super yuMmie! then i saw wong jing hai..!! he darn yandao but hes too short..hahas.ANyWAys...had great fun then slept all the way back home in the buS~~^_^

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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

yipEe!
had a great time with mels and ting^2 yest..hahas.MEt them at 5 at orchard then went shOpping! yeahS! lolS.spent alot of time at wisma man..shopp for ting's clothes for work at mango. the clothes are nice! but ex..lolS.
then went makaning and take neoprint at Far east! lolS.the borders are nice but the face nt nice! eee...hahas.but had fun in the midst of it man..hahas.had alot of poses.hee.then we went to makan at the top level..yummIe! the chickie noodle is yummie~so tender..lolS.
then went to shop the whole of far east man..hahas.we shop till the whole place close down lohS..hahas. i bought a von dutch skirt , a belt and a aerring..lolS.Nice lehS:) **beaMS**
tingY and mels bought alot of thingy too..had fun! hahash.then went back then saw melvin on the train!ahhas.mels and i bullied him la..took alot of photo with him..ahhas.we got to know a little secret abt who is his angel and who is his motal.hee.yahs.mi n mels went crazy abt photos again.hahas.HAd total fun with the peepS.^_^

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Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Yo Yo!
Now having enterprise lesson..So boring! heard that our cute little fac sammy not teaching us anymore~**groanS**at least he's a whole lot better then today that cha bor... ^_^ ANyWAYs..going shOpping with mEls and nui er later~! hope that i can have fun shOpping! yeAh! **Shakes Butt**

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Your Beauty liesin Plain Sight. Plain, simple and the girl nextdoor. People tend overlook you as you are the
"normal girl", but you're actuallyvery beautiful. And you have plenty about you to
set you apart, but more thatlets you blend. People love the stability you have
because as others may comeand go, you will always be there and you may always
be the same. You like simplethings and that's what people like about you. You
most likely enjoy things mostconsider normal, like movies, shopping, that sort
of thing and are very friendlyand probably have many friends. You are sweet and
kind and that shows on you,but you're also strong and not very naive. You're a
rather well-roundedindividual. Even though some people pass you off as
just another girl, shrug itoff because they don't know what they're
missing.

Some ThingsThat Represent You:

Element:Earth, Light Animal: Cat Color:
Pinks, Blues, Browns Song:Girl Next Door by Pilot Expression: Simple
Smile

Gemstone:Alexandrite Mythological Creature: Fox
Demon, Hobbit Sign:Tauros Planet: Jupiter Hair Color:
Light Brown Eye Color:Brown

Quote:"To the world you may be one person, but to
one person you may be the world."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by

woot..nicie picture yeah?? :)

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Monday, November 08, 2004

wah my com and blogger sucks man.cant even update the latest poSt.**groanS** ANyways..yest went to eling's hair fashion show and its Cool mAn..~~lolS. there are alot of gays there man.hahas.I saw a ang mo guy that is gorgeouS! hahas.Great body and great features. ^_^ then eling took photo with him la..**Envy**
then went to makan with them..lolS.had fun with the peepS... :)

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Wednesday, November 03, 2004

**yeaHS**

bon sch and went out with eling,lianfeng ,kinchong,ter and Ximen zi yest..lolS.met 11.30am at city hall then went to watch doll master!! loLs.wah scary leis the show..the way the dolls killed the victims.GroSs.i was practically screaming thru out the show againS.lolS.but the show also kinds sad..i cried a little too. (shh..no one knows.)hahas. the mina in the show is chiO!! hahas.she's so cute..too bad she's a ghost in the show.hahas.all the dolls are so life-like.not going to let my children play with dolls again..onli allow them to play with toy cars.hahahs.Then eling very cute..sae wait the cars come alive then bang my kids hw..hahahas. ^_^
then we went shOpping! hahas. went bugix and the guys went crazy n shop man..hahas.wah i bought a belt and baggY ^_^ the guys all ended up broke man....hahas.had a great daY!!!

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